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Thread: Contemptress

  1. #1
    romance option Lady of the Arena Lenore's Avatar
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    Contemptress

    #tw: &&&&ty urban fantasy

    Spoiler: Main Story 


    From here the story splits into three "routes", much like a visual novel. Consider them alternate scenarios, each of which features a different character as deuteragonist.


    Spoiler: Contemptress: "You sold your soul three times over. Once for power, once for vengeance, and once for her." 


    Spoiler: Life's Edge: "Don't look back." 


    Spoiler: Blue Eyes: "Rejoice, Gilles Redcliff. It's still not too late to be saved." 


    Total Words: 18495

    (comments would be really nice and I'd appreciate them even if they're silly :3)
    Last edited by Lenore; November 16th, 2012 at 06:55 AM.

  2. #2
    Sinking, falling, fallen Lord of the Arena Dynawing's Avatar
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    Re: Contemptress

    Wow, that last line. I knew this would be a lemon.

    But really, I like it. It seems interesting and went right into things, which was a little unexpected for me. There isn't too much to comment on but it seems like Kit could be an interesting character, whatever it is. It's just the introduction and I already feel like I know a lot about the setting, so that's good too.

  3. #3
    romance option Lady of the Arena Lenore's Avatar
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    Re: Contemptress

    Quote Originally Posted by Dynawing
    But really, I like it. It seems interesting and went right into things, which was a little unexpected for me. There isn't too much to comment on but it seems like Kit could be an interesting character, whatever it is. It's just the introduction and I already feel like I know a lot about the setting, so that's good too.
    Oh, thanks. Not sure how I feel about the setting; it's a very generic "there are fantastic elements but they're secret" thing, and I guess I would've liked something a bit different. I'm kind of a lazy worldbuilder, but I think I should be able to manage this.

    Also the plan is that there'll be a whole supporting cast of demons, so yup, there'll be at least a little more Kit.

  4. #4
    Tornado Remix Lightningdork
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    Re: Contemptress

    I was really amused by both the name "Contemptress" (seriously that is fantastic wordplay and suits Persephone to a T thus far) and the fact that Kit, a DEMON, called someone else a psychopath. You're really good at being descriptive, it feels really original and it's not forced; comes across really naturally. The setting admittedly does feel kind of generic (like you said, "it's the real world and magic is real but is kept secret") but what matters more is both what you do with that (it hasn't been expanded upon yet so it has potential to grow quite interesting) and what the actual story is like. Thus far it's been an enjoyable read and that's what matters most, I'm excited to see where this goes.
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  5. #5
    romance option Lady of the Arena Lenore's Avatar
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    Re: Contemptress

    Quote Originally Posted by Lightningboalt View Post
    I was really amused by both the name "Contemptress" (seriously that is fantastic wordplay and suits Persephone to a T thus far) and the fact that Kit, a DEMON, called someone else a psychopath. You're really good at being descriptive, it feels really original and it's not forced; comes across really naturally. The setting admittedly does feel kind of generic (like you said, "it's the real world and magic is real but is kept secret") but what matters more is both what you do with that (it hasn't been expanded upon yet so it has potential to grow quite interesting) and what the actual story is like. Thus far it's been an enjoyable read and that's what matters most, I'm excited to see where this goes.
    Haha, thanks! Actually, the whole idea for this story was based on me slapping words together and coming up with the portmanteau "contemptress", which sounded too interesting not to use.

    In other news, the second part is up! That is almost a cliffhanger. Almost. You also win no prizes for guessing my favourite line of dialogue. (It may or may not be the one where
    Laura mumbles about not being able to buy a gun because she's a minor
    .)

  6. #6
    hey sinnerman where you gonna run to Forum Veteran Eruedraith's Avatar
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    Re: Contemptress

    Well I really can't wait until I see this here Laura's character development because damn I love her already

    also I might have hacked Len's computer and found those 1090 words so conspicuously removed

    Spoiler: WARNING! HOTTTTTTTT111111 
    Last edited by Eruedraith; November 3rd, 2012 at 09:33 AM.
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    He were not hanged. He would not answer aye or nay to his indictment; for if he denied the charge they'd hang him surely, and auction out his property. So he stand mute, and died Christian under the law. And so his sons will have his farm. It is the law, for he could not be con-demned a wizard without he answer the indictment, aye or nay... Great stones they lay upon his chest until he plead aye or nay. They say he give them but two words. "More weight," he says. And died.


  7. #7
    made of love Event Artist
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    Re: Contemptress

    obby I must say the removed 1090 words were extremely hot and I dunno how you'll be able to top that in the future Gaby

    daaaaaaaaaaaamn


    (but really I like this story a lot? POSSIBILITIES???? it's great)

  8. #8
    romance option Lady of the Arena Lenore's Avatar
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    Re: Contemptress

    Best fanfiction. And thanks for your ongoing support. :3

    Another update! Sorry this one is a bit dry... it nearly killed me to write it, and I don't know if the character development is all that clear, but OH WELL. I like the second half in theory at least.

  9. #9
    romance option Lady of the Arena Lenore's Avatar
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    Re: Contemptress

    I am incredibly excited to announce...

    END OF PART ONE

    Here's where it gets really interesting, ladies and gentlemen. Hold onto your hats, because from here the story will split into three "routes", much like a visual novel. Consider them alternate scenarios, each of which features a different character as deuteragonist. I intend to finish all three of them, jumping back and forth as I update different routes. And I've seldom been more excited to do anything.

  10. #10
    hey sinnerman where you gonna run to Forum Veteran Eruedraith's Avatar
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    Re: Contemptress

    Basset more like GAYset

    because he's gay
    gayer than a closet fulla rainbows
    gaygaygay
    wow is that a leprechaun's pot o' gold no it's basset's GAYNESS wooo
    his hands are the size of the UNIVERSE
    the yaoi gods pray to him
    (gay)

    Well, someone had to do it.
    Also &&&& yeah Blue Eyes route it's the best route
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    He were not hanged. He would not answer aye or nay to his indictment; for if he denied the charge they'd hang him surely, and auction out his property. So he stand mute, and died Christian under the law. And so his sons will have his farm. It is the law, for he could not be con-demned a wizard without he answer the indictment, aye or nay... Great stones they lay upon his chest until he plead aye or nay. They say he give them but two words. "More weight," he says. And died.


  11. #11
    Tornado Remix Lightningdork
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    Re: Contemptress

    As always a pleasure to read. I'm assuming that the three routes are going to be (well, I already know the first two for sure haha) Persephone, Laura, and Rutger? And presumably the first would see Giles deciding to work with Persephone, and then either of the other two could probably be about trying to take down Persephone instead? I like this concept, it's a cool way to take the story; you've got plenty of options so why not explore them all?

    (also wow Absolon is a much more suitable name for the role than I thought it would be when I suggested it, really I only said it because it sounded kinda cool but you get to have a fitting nickname and it just really clicks for the leader of a group of mages)
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  12. #12
    romance option Lady of the Arena Lenore's Avatar
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    Re: Contemptress

    The Persephone route, "Contemptress", is open!

    Quote Originally Posted by Eruedraith View Post
    Basset more like GAYset

    because he's gay
    gayer than a closet fulla rainbows
    gaygaygay
    wow is that a leprechaun's pot o' gold no it's basset's GAYNESS wooo
    his hands are the size of the UNIVERSE
    the yaoi gods pray to him
    (gay)
    Also relevant.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lightningboalt View Post
    As always a pleasure to read. I'm assuming that the three routes are going to be (well, I already know the first two for sure haha) Persephone, Laura, and Rutger? And presumably the first would see Giles deciding to work with Persephone, and then either of the other two could probably be about trying to take down Persephone instead? I like this concept, it's a cool way to take the story; you've got plenty of options so why not explore them all?

    (also wow Absolon is a much more suitable name for the role than I thought it would be when I suggested it, really I only said it because it sounded kinda cool but you get to have a fitting nickname and it just really clicks for the leader of a group of mages)
    Laura, Persephone and Rutger, yup. Not gonna say a word about the plot of any of them, but they're all about Gilles's development; he just ends up developing in very different ways in all of them.
    Also Absolon is a great name thanks again, you did good :b

  13. #13
    hey sinnerman where you gonna run to Forum Veteran Eruedraith's Avatar
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    Re: Contemptress

    So, what's the catalyst for the different routes? Is it just Gilles reacting differently, or are there solid plot and circumstances differences, as well?
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    He were not hanged. He would not answer aye or nay to his indictment; for if he denied the charge they'd hang him surely, and auction out his property. So he stand mute, and died Christian under the law. And so his sons will have his farm. It is the law, for he could not be con-demned a wizard without he answer the indictment, aye or nay... Great stones they lay upon his chest until he plead aye or nay. They say he give them but two words. "More weight," he says. And died.


  14. #14
    romance option Lady of the Arena Lenore's Avatar
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    Re: Contemptress

    Quote Originally Posted by Eruedraith View Post
    So, what's the catalyst for the different routes? Is it just Gilles reacting differently, or are there solid plot and circumstances differences, as well?
    They split off because Gilles reacts differently to Rutger's revelation, but I do think they're all plausible possibilities; he either runs off to interrogate Persephone,
    kicks him out and withdraws to his room to think everything over
    , or
    questions the messenger more
    . Although they all start off similarly, I can promise that they'll seriously diverge before not too long.

  15. #15
    Tornado Remix Lightningdork
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    Re: Contemptress

    "Contemptress" is absolutely the perfect description for Persephone. As if her introduction didn't make that clear enough, this part hammered it home that the term is basically tailor made for her. I'm really quite interested in what exactly her motives are here, and how Giles reacts... I can't tell if he's about to join up with her (more seduction?) or try to murder her. And there's still two other routes of possibilities too, which makes things all the more exciting.
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  16. #16
    romance option Lady of the Arena Lenore's Avatar
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    Re: Contemptress

    The Rutger route, "Life's Edge", is now open!

    Dunno how good it is since I'm sure at least some of it is kinda sloppy, but I like this route a lot more already.

  17. #17
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    Re: Contemptress

    If some sort of magical equivalent to a high-speed chase dose not occur in Life's Edge to classic rock, I will be very surprised.
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    He were not hanged. He would not answer aye or nay to his indictment; for if he denied the charge they'd hang him surely, and auction out his property. So he stand mute, and died Christian under the law. And so his sons will have his farm. It is the law, for he could not be con-demned a wizard without he answer the indictment, aye or nay... Great stones they lay upon his chest until he plead aye or nay. They say he give them but two words. "More weight," he says. And died.


  18. #18
    Tornado Remix Lightningdork
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    Re: Contemptress

    Oh no I can just sense the faux-stockholme syndrome beginning ; -;

    (so in two different routes he's going to be fighting the establishment basically... Contemptress route is basically going to be like the evil route I guess, Life's Edge is going to be a vigilante/freedom fighter route, and Blue Eyes is going to presumably be the good route? Which is the intended canon, if I can ask that yet? :P)
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  19. #19
    romance option Lady of the Arena Lenore's Avatar
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    Re: Contemptress

    Quote Originally Posted by Lightningboalt View Post
    (so in two different routes he's going to be fighting the establishment basically... Contemptress route is basically going to be like the evil route I guess, Life's Edge is going to be a vigilante/freedom fighter route, and Blue Eyes is going to presumably be the good route? Which is the intended canon, if I can ask that yet? :P)
    Gonna take a leaf from Nasu's book and declare all routes to be canon... that said, one path leads to the "True End", which is the "primary" ending, I suppose?

  20. #20
    romance option Lady of the Arena Lenore's Avatar
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    Re: Contemptress

    Part Two of Life's Edge is up! I really like the first half of this, because Gilles and Rutger sure do know how to ham it up. I think the second half is disappointing, but oh well.
    (I'll start up Blue Eyes when I damn well feel like it okay)

    Quote Originally Posted by Eruedraith View Post
    If some sort of magical equivalent to a high-speed chase dose not occur in Life's Edge to classic rock, I will be very surprised.
    Well, there's a motorbike in this part. And mood music. I hope that passes. >:P

  21. #21
    The only RPer who RPs shopping in the glitz pit Captain Panda's Avatar
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    Re: Contemptress

    Surprised I haven't commented on this yet, so far it's my favorite story. The music does suit the bike scene, don't you worry 'bout that.

    Yeah, one of the things I noticed about the bike scene, is that it wasn't very apparent of that the familiars were there, nor of how much of a threat they really are. Other than that, seems pretty damn cool, I look forward to seeing Blue Eyes too.
    Spoiler: Quotes 

  22. #22
    Tornado Remix Lightningdork
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    Re: Contemptress

    Mood music? Copycat I totally did that first ; -;

    Life's Edge has been interesting thus far. The pair play off of one another pretty well and I'm interested to see where it goes... that said I'm also still intrigued by the other two parts, I'm interested to see what other parts of this world will be explored. It's cool to see that the three parts are already going to be incredibly different (I can't imagine a high-speed motorcycle "hostage situation" taking place in either of the other scenarios haha), and I'm sure they'll be just as interesting in their own ways!
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  23. #23
    hey sinnerman where you gonna run to Forum Veteran Eruedraith's Avatar
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    Re: Contemptress

    whoaaaa exciting and good mood music at that too

    but now that I'm thinking of F/SN I wonder if our hero is going to respond to finding out that he's bi the same way that Rin did
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    He were not hanged. He would not answer aye or nay to his indictment; for if he denied the charge they'd hang him surely, and auction out his property. So he stand mute, and died Christian under the law. And so his sons will have his farm. It is the law, for he could not be con-demned a wizard without he answer the indictment, aye or nay... Great stones they lay upon his chest until he plead aye or nay. They say he give them but two words. "More weight," he says. And died.


  24. #24
    Tornado Remix Lightningdork
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    Re: Contemptress

    Quote Originally Posted by Eruedraith View Post
    whoaaaa exciting and good mood music at that too

    but now that I'm thinking of F/SN I wonder if our hero is going to respond to finding out that he's bi the same way that Rin did
    I dunno anything about F/SN but "He could feel Bassett’s arms wrapped around his waist for balance, and the less he thought about that, the better." FORESHADOWING (maybe prior knowledge from chatting helped me see it this way but I think it's pretty clear and well done regardless)
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  25. #25
    romance option Lady of the Arena Lenore's Avatar
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    Re: Contemptress

    Quote Originally Posted by Captain Panda View Post
    Surprised I haven't commented on this yet, so far it's my favorite story.

    omg thank you ;~;

    Part Three of Life's Edge is now up, and to say I had a lot of fun writing it would be an incredible understatement. Hopefully this will be the first of three updates over the next several hours; I'd like to move all three routes along by the end of the night. Watch this space!

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