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Thread: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

  1. #1
    Blinking only serves to remind us of the past Pikanator's Avatar
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    Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    *Tap Tap*

    "Hello? Is this thing on? Yes? No? No? Greg, fix this thing STAT." *Tap Tap Tap*

    "We good now? Okay. Chariot, chariot.
    Hello, I'm Cave Johnson, founder and CEO of Aperture Science.

    Now you may be asking yourself: 'Cave, what on Earth am I doing here? Why am I not still sleeping in my bed? How did I even get here?'

    Well my friends, the secrets behind our new teleportation technology would just confuse you, as would the formula to our gas serums. So instead of answering your silly questions, let's get right down to it.

    The subject today is Science. What kind of Science? The exciting kind of course! Now if any of you are familiar with our top-secret reports regarding scientific business of the past few decades, you will know that our portal gun technology has worked flawlessly- What Greg? ... Oh- Maybe not completely flawlessly, but well enough to work without major disappointment. Couldn't fit a coffee maker on the darn thing, but maybe next time.

    Anyway, portal gun technology works. End of that discussion. But that got me thinking. I asked myself "Cave, what should you work on next?" I promptly replied "Lemons! Combustible Lemons!" "But Cave ol' chap, that will take time." "You're right Cave. Get to work on those right away!" "You got it Cave, you dashing-"

    *Microphone shuffling around* "-No Greg, I don't always- I never- Hand puppets work perfectly to show my emotions! ... All right all right.

    Sorry about that. Where was I- ah yes.

    You nine are here today to test our intermediary testing facilities. Yes, that's right: intermediary. Aperture Science is moving to a new location and this is it! Well, not quite yet; the lab boys need to finish moping up the water left over from all the plutonium we had stored here last year.

    But while they are doing that, each of you nine have earned the privilege to be the first to test in our new facilities. I have decided to cleverly name these new tests the Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes.

    'But Cave! There is only one of me in this otherwise white box of a room!' That's right, space cadet: each of the nine of you has been give a separate room to test in. Each room is connected somehow, but the lab boys failed to tell me how, so that part you'll have to find on your own. As for how you will accomplish this though, look no further.

    Each of your rooms contain an Aperture Science Portable Quantum Tunneling Device. You those of you who missed the tutorial on how they work because you were being sissy-pants crybabies during your teleportation here, I will re-inform you:

    Step 1: Put it on your arm.
    Step 2: Push the one button to fire it.
    Step 2.5: Push the other button to fire it the other way.
    Step 3: Science!"

    *Papers rustling* "Let me see here: welcoming statements, location, tests, portal gun instructions ... Anything else?" *Muffled murmurers*

    "My assistant Greg has reminded me that I haven't yet stated the goal of sticking nine test subjects into highly expensive work areas.

    The goal of our tests and any subsequent tests to follow as we think of more things to do while you're all trapped here and as we continue to bring in additional testing equipment from the old parts of the lab is to simply run through the compatibility of the Realtime Testing Cubes. As I stated, each one of you is in a Realtime Testing Cube. Alone.

    The kicker to these tests is that our Realtime Testing Cubes simulate an environment based off of the personality test each of you signed up for last month. Totally legally of course.

    So, grab your standard issue Aperture Science Portable Quantum Tunneling Device and step into the environment soon to be rendered by the Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes.

    Oh, and any of you think you see water and decide 'I am going to drink the HECK out of this water,' don't. The boys tell me that all water rendered by the Realtime Testing Cubes is actually a product of us mashing together our relatively new gel products on the floors wedged in between your Realtime Testing Cubes. Those gels are lively and have a way with unprotected organic materials. Then again, if you're still asleep by the time I finish talking, we will have already taken care of your organic fleshiness, so don't worry. Or do."

    *More papers* "Now, the lab boys want me to remind you all that there will be a celebratory cake at the end of these tests. *Loud buzzer going off* Ha, I got you all! See, even Greg thought that was funny. We would have cake for you if someone hadn't bought a whole shipment of moon rocks from the moon. Though that was a horrible idea myself." *Buzzer going off*

    "Anyway, happy testing! Cave Johnson, we're done here." *PA system shutting off*

    Spoiler: Cave's Recap Notes for those who were too bothered to wake up 


    Spoiler: A Note from the Lab Boys 


    Spoiler: A Note from Greg 


    Spoiler: Test Subject Information Sheet 


    Spoiler: Character List 
    Last edited by Pikanator; April 20th, 2014 at 10:27 AM.
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  2. #2
    romance option Lady of the Arena Lenore's Avatar
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Nine feels like a pretty big player cap, but sure I guess. Should be interesting to see how a more puzzle-oriented RP works out.

    Approvals: 1/2

  3. #3
    Sinking, falling, fallen Lord of the Arena Dynawing's Avatar
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Well, this is just bursting with personality, isn't it? I suppose it's a given considering what this is based off of.

    It's quite nonstandard , but I think you've supplied all the information needed at this point since most of it's going to be based off of whoever signs up. I'm interested in seeing how this goes. I only hope it doesn't get too confusing with up to nine people running around with portal guns. It seems to me that you'll have to be careful with how you detail the environments so people can visualize them. I'll give an approval anyway, so get signing up, people!

    Approvals: 2/2

  4. #4
    Klaatu Barada Nikto Kiwi's Avatar
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Test Subject's Name: Delia Lackadaisie
    Test Subject's Gender: Female
    Test Subject's Age: 23

    Test Subject's Appearence: Delia has brown, shoulder length hair kept in a braid, green eyes and pale skin. She's 5'9'', and not really skinny or bulky, being somewhere in the middle.

    Test Subject's Personality: Delia is a somewhat high-strung individual, to the point of being paranoid at times. She's always trying to think three steps ahead, lest something go wrong and mess up whatever it is she's doing. She's, therefore, not a very spontaneous person, and sudden, new developments have a tendency to stress her out. She's also got a good sense of humor, and enjoys getting to know people.

    Brief Description of Test Subject's Background: Delia was born and raised in a small town in Illinois, where she was far from popular. Or well liked. She didn't have many friends, is what I'm saying. But she did well enough in school, and as soon as she could went to college as far from her hometown as possible. She graduated with good enough grades, a degree in botany, and dreams of opening a public garden of some sort. She had it all planned out, too. It's a shame all this Apeture biz happened, isn't it?

    Test Subject's Last Felt Emotion or Dream: Being underwater.

  5. #5
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Looks good, I'll add you in.

    There's still plenty of room if anyone else wants to hop in.
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  6. #6
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Me next, me next!

    Test Subject's Name: Maxwell Clinton
    Test Subject's Gender: Male
    Test Subject's Age: 28

    Test Subject's Appearence: shortly cut Blackish-brown hair that is a bit rugged on the top, pale skin, he is tall and is a bit bulky.

    Test Subject's Personality: Maxwell tends to act too seriously, but is able to warm up to people if he respects them. He is a straight forward thinker that likes to get right to the point. Maxwell is know to be aggressive at times yet he tries to keep his cool when under intense pressure. He is always able to tackle new challenges as they come to him.

    Brief Description of Test Subject's Background: Maxwell used to have a very depressing outlook on life, but after his father toughened him up and introduced him to boxing he learn not to let emotion cloud his judgment. His father taught Maxwell everything he needed to know about the world and helped him get a job in a successful business. After his dad passed away Maxwell decided to keep to himself and lead a modest life, however, fate seems to have dealt him a different hand.

    Test Subject's Last Felt Emotion or Dream: Running through a field.

  7. #7
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    I will join!
    Am I too late?
    Working on character!

  8. #8
    Assist Trophy Anagalmeshshu's Avatar
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Why am I not on the character list?

  9. #9
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Once you finish up your character description and send it to me as requested, I'll have you up.
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  10. #10
    Assist Trophy Anagalmeshshu's Avatar
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    ??? Did I not already?
    OK I did it

  11. #11
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Can we start soon?
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Test Subject's Name: Aleks (with a "k") Thrumt
    Test Subject's Gender: What for? Male, if you must know....
    Test Subject's Age: 18 with a few days above him.

    Test Subject's Appearance: Think about 6'5". Brown, combed-down hair, and usually with a blue or red shirt (Sometimes its a red-shirt with blue stripes, or a blue-shirt with red stripes), and most of the time blue jeans. Khakis if he feels like it. Not skinny but not obese. Maybe he could shed a few pounds, but he can worry about that later.
    Test Subject's Personality: Lazy. The portals were supposed to be an easier form of transportation than say, walking. Strong willed and smart, only true athletic power is running, and even thats not too good. Has hammered stuff down (For fun, not for work.) Usually excited about stuff. Like cake. And mildly humid weather.

    Brief Description of Test Subject's Background: He sleeps more than he talks, which is saying something. His mom always worked, so real relationship was ever established, and his dad was his high school teacher. He advanced in many of his classes allowing him to research these portals, because he didnt walk to run from one side of the campus to the next.

    Test Subject's Last Felt Emotion or Dream: (Lab Boys tell me this will determine how the Realtime Testing Cubes will react to the individual test subjects.) Dream: In the woods. The sky was clear, but it was pouring water faster than the sink on dish washing day. Only one log cabin was present. Test Subject slept outside.
    Last edited by SuperMii3D; March 16th, 2014 at 09:49 PM.
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  13. #13
    :0 MisterM's Avatar
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Test Subject's Name: Jason [REDACTED]
    Test Subject's Gender: Male
    Test Subject's Age: 30

    Test Subject's Appearance: 6'3"; Dirty Blonde; Lame (can't walk), normally in a wheelchair, but thanks to Aperture Labs, he has been fit with a pair of good ol' robotic legs.

    Test Subject's Personality: Silent, prefers to be alone. But can talk when needed to. Has multiple running commentaries about life in his head. Considers this idea to be stupid.

    Brief Description of Test Subject's Background: Born in London, he recently worked at Black Mesa as a headcrab scientist. Until recently, when he was bitten on the legs by one, rendering his legs useless. He has still been working until he was kidnapped by us. He informs us that he attempted to add genetic enhancements to the headcrabs, but ended up killing them instead. Enjoys jazz.

    Test Subject's Last Felt Emotion or Dream: He informs us that he was previously dreaming about trying to herd sheep. Every time he herded one though, they poofed away. He was able to get 50 out of 5000 (apparently he counted).
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  14. #14
    Ossy the Blank NiGHTcapD's Avatar
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Test Subject's Name: "Just call me Rayne"
    Test Subject's Gender: Male
    Test Subject's Age: 16

    Test Subject's Appearance: 5'11"; Wears blue and green thickish striped hoodie and blue jeans; not skinny, exactly, but skinnier than most

    Test Subject's Personality: Bored easily. Kind of shy. Enjoys chiptune, varying degrees of math, and logic puzzles. Likes to take things literally, even if he understands what the other person is trying to say. Likes to be absolutely sure of sarcasm, along with many other things.

    Brief Description of Test Subject's Background: He likes to keep that private. (I'm too lazy to think of one, is really what it is. Does it matter?)

    Test Subject's Last Felt Emotion or Dream: Utter. Boredom.
    I suppose I might as well put one here, all the cool kids are doing it (not to judge, but so are some not-so-cool kids).

  15. #15
    Ossy the Blank NiGHTcapD's Avatar
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Nudge nudge.
    I suppose I might as well put one here, all the cool kids are doing it (not to judge, but so are some not-so-cool kids).

  16. #16
    Ossy the Blank NiGHTcapD's Avatar
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Nudge nudge...
    I suppose I might as well put one here, all the cool kids are doing it (not to judge, but so are some not-so-cool kids).

  17. #17
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Yo, keep cool. Im not sure if there are enough participants to start this rp yet....
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  18. #18
    Assist Trophy Anagalmeshshu's Avatar
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    We need two more! Come on people!
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  19. #19
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Test Subject's Name: Doctor Robotski
    Test Subject's Gender: Male
    Test Subject's Age: 18

    Test Subject's Appearance: Is about six feet tall and is a little overweight. Has messy brown hair. Wears large goggles to protect both his eyes and his glasses(without which he is nearly blind).
    Wears a standard-issue Aperture lab coat over an orange shirt bearing a logo of gila monster, and a pair of blue jeans. Has black sneakers.

    Test Subject's Personality: Insists on being called "Doctor", despite the subject' lack of an a advanced degree. Enjoys using sarcasm, but often fails to pick up on that used by others. Is uncomfortable around unfamiliar people, preferring not to speak unless spoken to. Making friends is a slow process for him, but becomes very lively in their presence.

    Brief Description of Test Subject's Background: Robotski is a bright young man from one of America's small towns. He managed to win a contest at his high school, resulting in an internship at Aperture over the past year. He is spending time in an ASRTC as punishment for instigating a robot rebellion without proper authorization.

    Test Subject's Last Felt Emotion or Dream: Fear of missing breakfast(?).
    Don't worry!
    Batman can breathe in space! Unfortunately, none of us are Batman.
    Worry!

  20. #20
    Ossy the Blank NiGHTcapD's Avatar
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Do we need to thank me for nudging, or would it have likely happened either way?
    I suppose I might as well put one here, all the cool kids are doing it (not to judge, but so are some not-so-cool kids).

  21. #21
    Assist Trophy Anagalmeshshu's Avatar
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Quote Originally Posted by NiGHTcapD View Post
    Do we need to thank me for nudging, or would it have likely happened either way?
    *ahem* Your nudging?
    ...
    No, we won't thank you.
    Not to be rude but you know.
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  22. #22
    Blinking only serves to remind us of the past Pikanator's Avatar
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    "*Ahem* Cave Johnson here; I want to remind whoever thought it would be a good idea to host a child science fair here that science is more than just putting two wires in a potato and making something else glow like crazy. If we wanted high-tech power like that, we would have supplied pickles. Much better light-makers. And tastier. Sometimes.

    "As for the rest of you, I want to apologize for delays in operation 'Monkey Tail, Flying Foot', otherwise known as the Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes. The lab boys and Greg have been working tirelessly in Hawaii to scrape this project together for our lucky candidates. They never invited me along, but that's okay! I never liked the tropics anyway ...

    "Now, we have to find one more person for our final cube. If you, remaining lab boys who aren't currently in Hawaii, find anyone suitable to fill our single outstanding void of a person, that would be fantastic.

    "Cave Johnson, we're done here."
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  23. #23
    Ossy the Blank NiGHTcapD's Avatar
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Put wires in a pickle in the right way and it actually lights up. I'm not kidding, it works as a sort of lightbulb filament.
    Also, it sounds like a good way to make dried pickles. Watching a lit-up pickle and then eating it seems like a good minor reward to me. In fact, we should all come up with allowable "pellets" for doing something right. I love pickles.
    I suppose I might as well put one here, all the cool kids are doing it (not to judge, but so are some not-so-cool kids).

  24. #24
    Blinking only serves to remind us of the past Pikanator's Avatar
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    *Static crackle*
    "Seriously people: I can't leave the mic for ten minutes and I have to make another big announcement. What am I running here? A Lab for ants?
    "Our last test subject has been found and will be put in place soon, but the testing itself WILL NOT BEGIN until later. Somebody around the lab let a horde of bunnies loose and we all have bets on which one first finds the turret room. Fun stuff.

    "Once again: we have all of our test subjects, but we will not begin until we clean up these rabbits.

    "Cave Johnson saying 'We're done here'"
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  25. #25
    :0 MisterM's Avatar
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Sounds good. Its about time.
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