Friday, July 8 — 12:00 AM

This is actually how Super Mario Bros’ (NES) storyline goes. Bowser (“King Koopa”) wants to rule the Mushroom Kingdom, so he turns the Toads (“Mushroom Retainers”) into bricks, while kidnapping the only person who can reverse the spell, Peach (“Princess Toadstool”). Peach’s mystical powers have since vanished, but I’m more concerned about the sheer brick-busting brutality our “heroic” plumber partook in on his way to 8-4.

The other thing I can’t help but wonder about is why nearly everyone’s names have been changed since then! “Bowser” was named in SMB3, “Peach” in SM64 (in the US), and “Mario” in the original arcade Mario Bros. I guess that’s for the better, since “Jumpman” sounds more like a Mega Man villain than a gaming mascot.

For those of you wondering if this contradicts BitF canon, let’s just say this is the ending to Lost Levels (JPN’s Mario 2) as opposed to the first game. Am I overthinking this?

-By Matthew


We’ve got some great new deals in our online store!  You can now find three different bundle deals that give great discounts for buying a group of items at once.  The discounts are really ridiculously good, so if you’ve been thinking about buying some of our stuff, now’s the time!

– Chris