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Thread: The Shop: ONLY TO BE POSTED IN BY WINTERDAY PARTICIPANTS

  1. #151
    Tornado Remix Lightningdork
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    Re: The Shop: ONLY TO BE POSTED IN BY WINTERDAY PARTICIPANTS

    It is now time for THE SCEPTER RAP BATTLE

    Bgh has claimed the first slot: War P.Anda, prepare your retort!
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  2. #152
    Shuckle is friend. Best friend. Forum Veteran bghvgjdh's Avatar
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    Re: The Shop: ONLY TO BE POSTED IN BY WINTERDAY PARTICIPANTS

    Oi, a rap battle you say? You humans have sum odd ways o' settlin' disputes. But a dwarf never backs down from a challenge!
    Warlike-panda creature, prepare to be schooled so hard yer entire species will feel it.

    So the snowman comes to this fort each year
    and the people, they let out some fearful cheers
    The wallets come out and the money will flow
    You'd best join in so you got somethin' to show

    See it's about spirit and it's about smarts
    But mostly makin' stocks rise high on the charts
    Y' gotta purchase to win, y' gotta win to succeed
    Shows of force? That's not where this path leads

    Y' must've been raised like an elf to feel
    You pose a threat to the Snowman? Be real.
    You don't scare him, he's got plenty o' power
    All he needs to kill you is an angry glower

    The scepter belongs to me, no doubt
    I worked the sales, bargaining throughout
    Artwork? Naturally, I'm the king
    I offered gold, you didn't offer a thing

    Alcohol and gold can tempt one greatly
    But take heed, notice, very lately
    I gave it all to the Snowman, our lord
    Overcame temptation, gave up my hoard

    Capitalism is the name of the game
    Someone like you, you should feel ashamed
    This contest can't be won through martial might
    You've messed with a dwarf, now there's a fight

    I've taken down dragons, I rule a nation
    You've done nothing: Congratulations.
    Victory is mine, so accept defeat.
    This old dwarf drops a real sick beat.


  3. #153
    pirate queen War P. Anda's Avatar
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    Re: The Shop: ONLY TO BE POSTED IN BY WINTERDAY PARTICIPANTS

    This is a Winterday, Winterday, Winterday rap.
    None of that Christmas, or Hanukkah crap.
    You don't pay tribute, your neck'll snap.
    By the end of the event, I'll have a trophy in my lap.

    Maybe I didn't barter like the rest,
    but I believe it was quite clever,
    possibly even the greatest, the best,
    of me to launch a missile without gear or lever.

    No, I couldn't challenge the GHS, I wouldn't dare,
    but I believe that if you looked, you'd find I took care,
    to hold up the store when the Snowman wasn't there.
    Overcome temptation? Did two kegs disappear into thin air?

    Not to mention, I'm doing that too.
    Giving up my weapon isn't easy,
    much less than some stupid weak brew.
    After all, after this they could arrest me.

    In any case, I believe that I've earned this scepter.
    To hold this place up, I had to make all the right buys.
    You're trading drinks that won't pass the health inspector,
    and some weird gold - probably just copper, coated in lies.

    Sure, you running a nation, that I'll believe -
    of people too stupid not to kill all their friends.
    When they get a little upset, your neck they'll cleave.
    Just leave a few goblins who've met their ends.

    While watching you rhyme with that accent is amusing,
    I hardly think you could call that anything near a rap.
    Maybe a child's storybook or something, it's quite confusing,
    but just listening to you makes me want to take a nap.

    Honestly, I really, truly must confess,
    I don't believe you're exactly 'sharp'.
    You couldn't win anything from GHS,
    when you slay dragons but run from a carp.

  4. #154
    Shuckle is friend. Best friend. Forum Veteran bghvgjdh's Avatar
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    Re: The Shop: ONLY TO BE POSTED IN BY WINTERDAY PARTICIPANTS

    Back up, son, take a look at yourself
    Readin' yer rhymes is gettin' bad fer my health
    You think that's a rap? Its got no beat
    You gotta have rhythm to defeat the elite

    Violence is nothin' special, boy
    Any dwarf can pull that ploy
    And Armok knows we're not that bright
    But you don't see me putting up a fight

    You little kid, yeh wouldn't know
    Alcoholism only grows and grows
    All my ales are finely made
    How 'bout you drink some more kool-aid?

    All the right buys? Don't make me laugh
    I've got your goods beat by half
    This gold comes from the earth's own skin
    Mined by dwarves, not your worthless kin

    My mountain halls are a sight to behold
    Hundreds of dwarves, doin' what they're told
    And what of you, O panda bear
    You're nearly extinct, no surprise there

    You think you're pretty clever, eh?
    Well you don't fight this stuff each day
    These carp would eat you alive
    Strength, not wits, help you survive

    Face it, boy, you're far outclassed
    The scepter is mine, it shall be passed
    From me to the Snowman, who rules us all
    In these Dwarven Capitalist halls.


  5. #155
    pirate queen War P. Anda's Avatar
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    Re: The Shop: ONLY TO BE POSTED IN BY WINTERDAY PARTICIPANTS

    I don't have any rhythm?
    Anyone says that, I kill 'em.
    I won't murder you, though,
    I'll just sick my beats on you.

    I'm not pleased, you fail to impress,
    You're a first-timer, I'd have to guess.
    And if that's so, I'll have to suggest,
    You give challenging the best a rest.

    Sure, maybe we're nearly all dead,
    But doesn't it say something if I'm alive?
    'You need strength, not wits' you said,
    If you weren't bearded I'd say you were five.

    Come to think of it, you kinda look ridiculous.
    Fully bearded midgets... not quite conspicuous.
    With tantrum spirals and Boatmurders, congrats!
    You couldn't be crazier if you were raised by cats.

    Oh wait, I forgot that exists, cat adoption.
    Hint; it works the other way around, dwarf-kind.
    Only dwarves? Why not a better option?
    Even an elf'd be better than a midget without mind!

    You know there's something wrong with your species,
    When their entire intellect is on par with a pile of feces.
    Heck, your lords consider your countless deaths FUN.
    If I were you, dwarf, I'd pack up and run, run, run.

    Actually, scratch the packing up.
    With all those menacing spikes,
    On things from bed to chair to cup,
    May's well be on a murky-pool hike.

    You may have dwarves by the hundreds,
    But they'll fall quickly with a single mistake.
    Tens by tens, off with their heads,
    To a dwarf, mistakes are easy to make.

    I'm afraid I have some bad news;
    I'm simply not here to lose,
    To an unshaven midget n' his booze.
    I'm winning this, you don't get to choose.

    Your words leave no mark, I haven't been dissed.
    Only made it obvious your raps won't be missed.
    Of rappers the GHS keeps a triple-checked list,
    The best's me, the worst's one "McShopper, Urist".

    You've fallen into my trap,
    And since I've already won,
    I suppose I'll end this rap.
    You lose; hope you have "fun".

  6. #156
    I WILL DESTROY YOU SUPER Veteran Grand High Snowman's Avatar
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    Re: The Shop: ONLY TO BE POSTED IN BY WINTERDAY PARTICIPANTS

    I HAVE BEEN DELIBERATING OVER WHOSE RHYMES WERE THE ILLEST AND WHO HAD THE BEST PERFORMANCE OVERALL IN THIS SPECIAL WINTERDAY RAP BATTLE. AFTER MUCH THOUGHT, I HAVE DECIDED THAT THE SMALL ALCOHOLIC IS THE WINNER, HIS FLOW AND BEATS WERE MORE TO MY LIKING THAN THAT OF P dot ANDA. CONGRATULATIONS, SMELLY BEARDED MIDGET, YOU HAVE CAUSED THE EXTINCTION OF THE PANDAS, HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL.

    HOPEFULLY AWFUL, DESPITE YOUR VICTORY

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