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Thread: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

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    Deranged Madman, Obsessive Historian Kiptoke's Avatar
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    AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    After a long break, I've returned, and somehow it's surprisingly NOT the summer.

    Hello! I am Kiptoke, self-proclaimed deranged historian of these here parts and I also run this thing.

    For those of you NOT in the know of the golden age of the AHCYOA, two years ago, AHCYOA stands for Alternate History Choose Your Own Adventure. It's basically where I set up a historical scenario, like the United States in the 1830s, Germany in the 1900s, and the Soviet Union. People give ideas of what to do, and I guide the CYOA to the right path. Usually, every one of them ends in a global nuclear disaster.

    This time, we can end it in a UNIVERSAL nuclear disaster. So, anyways, HERE WE GO!


    Scenario: Its... THE FUTURE!


    The year is 2028.


    Congrats! You have just been elected the president of the Commonwealth of Eastern Europa States (CEES), a union of socialist states consisting of nations that previously were called Poland, the Baltic, Belarus, Ukraine, and Western Russia.


    You are part of a larger confederation, the Union of European Nations, consisting of five major powers, you, the New Scandinavian Union, Germania, the Yugoslav Union of States, and Franco-Iberia. Minor Powers include: the the Union of British Kingdoms and the Italian Puppet State.

    Spoiler: Map of Europe 


    Victory Conditions:
    Reach the year 2100
    CONQUER EUROPE
    Spread socialism throughout the world

    Failure Conditions:
    Fall to the Dictatorial regime of Germania
    Break down from rebellion
    Nuke the world (to some, this is victory)



    Welcome, Great President. I hope you have a Long and Prosperous Career.

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    Deranged Madman, Obsessive Historian Kiptoke's Avatar
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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    The Year Is: 2028

    Approval Rating: 50%
    Nuclear Weapons: 287
    Current Foreign Relations: Warm
    World Tension: The World is generally tense.
    Space Colonists: 324
    At War With: nobody

    Events:

    A crisis between the Italian Puppet State and the Yugoslav Union has led to a naval standoff in the Adriatic. Fears that the tension might boil into war are currently being dealt with by the Union of European Nations.

    The Chancellor of Germany declared that all possible thoughts that can be considered to be anti-German will be prosecuted by the state. How the empire will do so is currently unknown.

    Crisis!

    The rebel problem in the Crimea province of your nation is becoming a problem. How should we deal with this?

    We must aid the space colony on Mars! Now they've turned to eating dirt and old machinery. We must aid them before they turn to eating pure gold. I don't know why we've been transporting tons of gold bars to the colony, but now they have no food. How will we support them?

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    Was I supposed to put my user title here? Scraggy's Avatar
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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    NUKE MARS
    Send some food to Mars by means of a trebuchet!

    Also could we get a list of the Great Powers/how many nuclear weapons they have?
    Spoiler: Pokemon Stuff 

    Froze before the mighty Ice Gym and won!
    Swept Keeby's gym like a broom!

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    Sock SockOutTheWindow's Avatar
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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    Quote Originally Posted by Scraggy View Post
    NUKE MARS
    Send some food to Mars by means of a trebuchet!

    Also could we get a list of the Great Powers/how many nuclear weapons they have?
    Do this stuff. And have your Martians ship the gold back, use the gold to buy food, and ship the food to mars. Then start building a moon rocket so you can escape to the moon before you nuke the world.
    Don't worry!
    Batman can breathe in space! Unfortunately, none of us are Batman.
    Worry!

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    To vex the world rather than divert it. Villerar's Avatar
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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    List the rebel demands.

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    Trolololol... Xano2323's Avatar
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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF TOMORROW!

    Quote Originally Posted by SockOutTheWindow View Post
    Do this stuff. And have your Martians ship the gold back, use the gold to buy food, and ship the food to mars. Then start building a moon rocket so you can escape to the moon before you nuke the world.
    Seconded. ...Or...thirded?

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    Deranged Madman, Obsessive Historian Kiptoke's Avatar
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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    Quote Originally Posted by Villerar View Post
    List the rebel demands.
    Mostly Crimean independence, formation of a semi-autonomous Ukrainian state, and full control of oil fields and lactonium mines in the Ukrainian province

    Quote Originally Posted by Scraggy View Post
    NUKE MARS
    Send some food to Mars by means of a trebuchet!

    Also could we get a list of the Great Powers/how many nuclear weapons they have?
    Top 10 Great Powers:

    1. Germania, 1,021 nuclear weapons
    2. Pan-Asian Alliance (China, Korea, and Southeast Asia), 943 nuclear weapons
    3. People's Democratic Alliance of America (PDAA), 924 nuclear weapons
    4. Pacific Union (Japan, West US, Pacific Islands), 520 nuclear weapons
    5. Franco-Iberia, 357 nuclear weapons
    6. New Scandinavian Union, 301 nuclear weapons
    7. Commonwealth of Eastern European States, 287 nuclear weapons
    8. Ethiopian Empire, 115 nuclear weapons
    9. Russian Federation, 80 nuclear weapons
    10. Canada, 9 nuclear weapons

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    To vex the world rather than divert it. Villerar's Avatar
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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    What forms of government do the other ten major powers have? What is their position on non-proliferation?

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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    Quote Originally Posted by Villerar View Post
    What forms of government do the other ten major powers have? What is their position on non-proliferation?
    Oh, and I forgot to mention this: You are in an alternate universe where Nazi Germany has won World War II.

    Germania - The German government, while not completely fascist, it still has many characteristics of a fascist government.

    Pan-Asian Alliance - After the collapse of American culture in the early Twenties, China spread it's influence over to a now weak South Korea and South East Asia, spreading it's pseudo Communist/Capitalist ideals, but remaining an isolated, one-party consumer state.

    People's Democratic Alliance of America - the Second American Civil war led to the breakup of America, with the PDAA being the top victor. It's actually very democratic, with many socialist reforms and ideals (think Canada or Sweden in our world)

    Pacific Union - Japan has taken over the United States as the main capitalist nation in the world, and the Second American Civil War only strengthened this when the West Coast defected to the Union. It's mainly democratic.

    Franco-Iberia - during the 20s Crisis, France made a successful invasion of Spain, spreading it's culture. It's said to be democratic, but an increasingly radical right party has been taking control of the government.

    New Scandinavian Union - fearing the crisis in Europe in the twenties, the Scandinavian nations reunited into a new union. It's a republic, where every nation sends Ten delegates to a Parliament, and the old governments can still act semi-autonomously. (similar to the European Union of our world)

    Commonwealth of Eastern European States - This is you. You are a fairly dictatorial socialist state, with most power vested in you, but many critical decisions, such as declaring war (important! You must have a good approval rating to even declare war) , the budget, and most foreign affairs are dealt with by the Congress of States.

    Ethiopian Empire - the Ethiopian Empire is a monarchy, with full power in it's king. It is very free-market, and trades openly with both Germania and the Pacific Union.

    Russian Federation - Putin.

    Canada - still Canada.

    Thoughts on Non Proliferation

    Germania: Germania is not afraid to use it's nuclear weapons, and it often threatens its use in diplomatic talks.

    Pan-Asian Alliance: the PAA is more reserved with it's nuclear reserves, but is not afraid to use them.

    People's Democratic Alliance of America (PDAA): the PDAA is very likely to get rid of their nuclear weapons, as it sees them as a threat to the peace and stability of the world.

    Pacific Union: the Pacific Union only keeps onto it's nuclear holding as a self-defense measure. It's not very likely that they will threaten their use, but they are also not as likely to get rid of them.

    Franco-Iberia: Franco-Iberia has been trying to get rid of it's nuclear weapons, but the increasingly right wing parties advocate for a buildup of it's nuclear stockpile.

    New Scandinavian Union: the New Scandinavian Union is actively getting rid of it's nuclear arsenal to be closer to around 50-100.

    Commonwealth of Eastern European States: they will eventually destroy the world with these nukes, so...

    Ethiopian Empire: the Ethiopian Empire is also extremely jingoistic with it's use of the nuclear missile, often doing many tests to threaten it's neighbors and the world.

    Russian Federation: after the 20's Crisis, the Russian Federation was forced to lower it's nuclear stockpile, and has restirctions placed so that they cannot regain such a stockpile.

    Canada: Canada has no idea how it got these nukes.

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    To vex the world rather than divert it. Villerar's Avatar
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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    Okay, I'd suggest a not too hard treatment of Crimea. Promise greater revenues from oil money being spent on the provinces from which it came and some devolution of power to Crimea.

    However, retain a hold on the province, claiming that Crimean secession would be at the expense of the native inhabitants, the Crimean Tatars, who were deported by Stalin and an unfair result of ethnic assimilation politics. Use intelligence agencies to map rebel activity and garrison regional centres in government control.

    Send delegates to Canada, the PDAA, the New Scandinavian Union, Germania and the Pan-Asia Alliance for improving diplomatic ties.

    Could you tell us who is at war with whom? And what their main defence forces are, what tactics they use?

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    That guy who's barely on Lenrap's Avatar
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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    Give the rebels their land, but force them in the paper document to be allies with us in any future wars, but make sure there are no loopholes cuz if there is I'm blaming everything on Kiptoke like a butthurt politician. Also send the people some space food via a rocket.

    super nukes............................................

    Edit: SUPER NUKES...................................
    Last edited by Lenrap; March 6th, 2015 at 04:26 PM. Reason: HEHEHE
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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    Create more nukes.
    THE SKY IS NOT THE LIMIT
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    To vex the world rather than divert it. Villerar's Avatar
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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    Do not build more nukes. Our stockpile is likely far lower than Germania's and a nuclear arms race would almost certainly be lost. It is also a bad idea to start diplomacy on that premise.

    Speaking of nukes, do we have any limitations on that, like Russia?

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    Was I supposed to put my user title here? Scraggy's Avatar
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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    Quote Originally Posted by Villerar View Post
    Okay, I'd suggest a not too hard treatment of Crimea. Promise greater revenues from oil money being spent on the provinces from which it came and some devolution of power to Crimea.

    However, retain a hold on the province, claiming that Crimean secession would be at the expense of the native inhabitants, the Crimean Tatars, who were deported by Stalin and an unfair result of ethnic assimilation politics. Use intelligence agencies to map rebel activity and garrison regional centres in government control.

    Send delegates to Canada, the PDAA, the New Scandinavian Union, Germania and the Pan-Asia Alliance for improving diplomatic ties.

    Could you tell us who is at war with whom? And what their main defence forces are, what tactics they use?
    Let's go with this. If we want to nuke everyone we need to be powerful enough to do so and not have everyone hate us.
    Spoiler: Pokemon Stuff 

    Froze before the mighty Ice Gym and won!
    Swept Keeby's gym like a broom!

    I guess having a Tumblr is a thing now.

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    The Bakis are back. In fact, they were always here. Planetbox's Avatar
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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    A new AHCYOA before summer? You can't handle the hype.

    Quote Originally Posted by Villerar View Post
    Okay, I'd suggest a not too hard treatment of Crimea. Promise greater revenues from oil money being spent on the provinces from which it came and some devolution of power to Crimea.

    However, retain a hold on the province, claiming that Crimean secession would be at the expense of the native inhabitants, the Crimean Tatars, who were deported by Stalin and an unfair result of ethnic assimilation politics. Use intelligence agencies to map rebel activity and garrison regional centres in government control.

    Send delegates to Canada, the PDAA, the New Scandinavian Union, Germania and the Pan-Asia Alliance for improving diplomatic ties.
    Seconded, since Villerar knows what he's talking about. Send a rocket filled with food and water to our Mars colony. If possible, also include seeds and dirt, so that the colony could possibly set up one of those domed farms you see in Mars Colony movies. Also, tell them not to drink the Waters of Mars

    Also, what is the state of our Mars colony? Where are the colonists living, how big is it, do any other countries have colonies there?
    Last edited by Planetbox; March 7th, 2015 at 08:10 PM.
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    Sock SockOutTheWindow's Avatar
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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    Send spies to detonate Canada's nukes.
    Official cover story: the Canadians (who didn't even know how they got nukes) accidentally set them off.
    Don't worry!
    Batman can breathe in space! Unfortunately, none of us are Batman.
    Worry!

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    Trolololol... Xano2323's Avatar
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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    Knowing how past AHCYOAs have gone...and the Killer GM tendencies of Kiptoke...yeah, we're going to need nukes. Lots and lots of nukes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Villerar View Post
    Okay, I'd suggest a not too hard treatment of Crimea. Promise greater revenues from oil money being spent on the provinces from which it came and some devolution of power to Crimea.

    However, retain a hold on the province, claiming that Crimean secession would be at the expense of the native inhabitants, the Crimean Tatars, who were deported by Stalin and an unfair result of ethnic assimilation politics. Use intelligence agencies to map rebel activity and garrison regional centres in government control.

    Send delegates to Canada, the PDAA, the New Scandinavian Union, Germania and the Pan-Asia Alliance for improving diplomatic ties.

    Could you tell us who is at war with whom? And what their main defence forces are, what tactics they use?
    Thirded.

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    Deranged Madman, Obsessive Historian Kiptoke's Avatar
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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    Quote Originally Posted by Xano2323 View Post
    Knowing how past AHCYOAs have gone...and the Killer GM tendencies of Kiptoke...yeah, we're going to need nukes. Lots and lots of nukes.

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    To vex the world rather than divert it. Villerar's Avatar
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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    Quote Originally Posted by SockOutTheWindow View Post
    Send spies to detonate Canada's nukes.
    Official cover story: the Canadians (who didn't even know how they got nukes) accidentally set them off.
    I'm going to be a spoilsport and suggest not to do this. Not much point in sending delegates to them if were going to attack them this way - going off Kiptoke's GM history, they will likely find out. And Canada's such a minor force right now, it's no use to waste an attack on them.

    I'd like to ask if there is any organisation like the UN in place.

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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    Quote Originally Posted by Villerar View Post
    I'm going to be a spoilsport and suggest not to do this. Not much point in sending delegates to them if were going to attack them this way - going off Kiptoke's GM history, they will likely find out. And Canada's such a minor force right now, it's no use to waste an attack on them.

    I'd like to ask if there is any organisation like the UN in place.
    Yeah seconding this. Let's try to start out peaceful because Kiptoke is just going to make anything remotely risky go wrong. As funny as it would be, we're not strong enough for a nuclear war.
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    Froze before the mighty Ice Gym and won!
    Swept Keeby's gym like a broom!

    I guess having a Tumblr is a thing now.

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    Deranged Madman, Obsessive Historian Kiptoke's Avatar
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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    The Year Is: 2028

    Congress of States

    Approval Rating: 52 %

    Approval of COS:

    Capitalists: 47%
    Communists: 58%
    Nationalists: 43%
    Military: 48%

    General Information

    United Nations Approval Rating: 67%
    Nuclear Weapons: 301
    Current Foreign Relations: Very Warm
    World Tension (1-100 ranking): 62+ (The world is growing more tense)
    Space Colonists: 320
    At War With: nobody

    The United Nations:

    The United Nations has reformed the Security Council, a council of the permanent top five powers. All members have veto power over everything and each other.

    The list is:

    1. Germania
    2. Pacific Union
    3. Pan-Asian Alliance
    4. PDAA
    5. Commonwealth of East European States

    The first discussion is over intervening in the Yugoslav-Italia Crisis.

    How should we vote?

    Events:

    Internal:

    The Crimean rebels thank you for your generosity in how you dealt with the crisis. However, the nationalists and capitalists are unhappy in the loss of oil revenue.

    We have successfully implanted our spies into the Crimean Semi-Autonomous region.

    Our internal spies in the Crimean Semi-Autonomous region also discovered that the Russian Federation was heavily funding the rebels, and that the new oil revenues are now funding Putin in Russia.

    A spaceship full or food has launched to Mars, but it will take a year or two to arrive. Four colonists have died.

    International:

    The Ethiopian Empire has set off another nuclear test, capturing the attention of news worldwide.

    A revolution in the PDAA is threatening the stability of New England. After a harsh winter, a pro-Germania rebel group began a revolution in the area.

    Crisis!

    The crisis the the Adriatic has turned into a standoff. Germanian and Italian troops are now beginning to surround the border of the Yugoslav Union, while naval ships are creating a blockade of the area. The United Nations and Union of European Nations are currently acting to defuse the situation. Your military advisers are fearing that the military buildup might spill into Ukraine. We'd also lose a faithful ally in the Yugoslav Union.

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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    nuke everything
    THE SKY IS NOT THE LIMIT
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  23. #23
    To vex the world rather than divert it. Villerar's Avatar
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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    How did the talks via delegates go?

    And more important, how does Russia's military compare to ours?

    Do not nuke, be a peacenik, for now.

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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    All right, prepare copies of the evidence and store the original evidence decentrally in safe locations. Identify Russian spies involved in funding the rebels and the rebels involved with them and start up plans to freeze the money strings to the Russian Federation and to execute a total asset freeze for Putin and important Russian allies of his, so you can appropriate the amount of money that flowed to him. Offer Germania 20% of this years profits in exchange for backing off from the Yugoslav Union, together with the Italian Puppet State, and support in case of a future stand-off against the Russian Federation.

    If and only if they accept the deal, immediately apprehend any Russian spies identified, contact rebels involved and offer them to reinvest 50% minus the sum going to Germania back in Crimea if they cut ties with Russia, put capital controls to the Russian Federation in place to prevent a cash flow to the Russian Federation and seize the assets of Putin and his allies in Russia. Then reveal the documents that prove Russian involvement. Also ask for support from the New Scandinavian Union in isolating the Russian Federation. If the deal is rejected by Germania, ignore this paragraph and continue negotiations.

    Condemn the Ethiopian missile test.

    Support the attempt of the Union of European Nations and the United Nations to deescalate the conflict.

    Offer 200 million whatever moneys in food and fuel aid to the PDAA to help placate the population of New England.

    Implement an ambitious climate agenda of increasing the share of renewable energy by 2% of the total energy needs in the upcoming five years, to reduce the dependence on oil incomes. First focus on wind power in industrial zones, off-shore (Baltic and Black Sea) and on coastlines outside nature reserves and recreational hotspots, but already announce a feed-in tariff in the upcoming years. Spread the location reasonably fairly, so that regions with a rebel presence also profit from the investments.

    Hold private meetings with representatives of the PDAA, the New Scandinavian Union (and its individual governments), Canada and the PAA about their ideas on promoting socialism.
    Last edited by Villerar; March 7th, 2015 at 04:02 PM.

  25. #25
    The Bakis are back. In fact, they were always here. Planetbox's Avatar
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    Re: AHCYOA V: The Return of the Nuclear Boogaloo

    Can we have a list of our relations with the other nine great powers?

    Vote to intervene in the crisis. It would probably be benificial to keep an ally at this point. And do Villerar's stuff, of course.
    Last edited by Planetbox; March 7th, 2015 at 08:05 PM.
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