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Thread: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

  1. #1
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    Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    *Tap Tap*

    "Hello? Is this thing on? Yes? No? No? Greg, fix this thing STAT." *Tap Tap Tap*

    "We good now? Okay. Chariot, chariot.
    Hello, I'm Cave Johnson, founder and CEO of Aperture Science.

    Now you may be asking yourself: 'Cave, what on Earth am I doing here? Why am I not still sleeping in my bed? How did I even get here?'

    Well my friends, the secrets behind our new teleportation technology would just confuse you, as would the formula to our gas serums. So instead of answering your silly questions, let's get right down to it.

    The subject today is Science. What kind of Science? The exciting kind of course! Now if any of you are familiar with our top-secret reports regarding scientific business of the past few decades, you will know that our portal gun technology has worked flawlessly- What Greg? ... Oh- Maybe not completely flawlessly, but well enough to work without major disappointment. Couldn't fit a coffee maker on the darn thing, but maybe next time.

    Anyway, portal gun technology works. End of that discussion. But that got me thinking. I asked myself "Cave, what should you work on next?" I promptly replied "Lemons! Combustible Lemons!" "But Cave ol' chap, that will take time." "You're right Cave. Get to work on those right away!" "You got it Cave, you dashing-"

    *Microphone shuffling around* "-No Greg, I don't always- I never- Hand puppets work perfectly to show my emotions! ... All right all right.

    Sorry about that. Where was I- ah yes.

    You nine are here today to test our intermediary testing facilities. Yes, that's right: intermediary. Aperture Science is moving to a new location and this is it! Well, not quite yet; the lab boys need to finish moping up the water left over from all the plutonium we had stored here last year.

    But while they are doing that, each of you nine have earned the privilege to be the first to test in our new facilities. I have decided to cleverly name these new tests the Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes.

    'But Cave! There is only one of me in this otherwise white box of a room!' That's right, space cadet: each of the nine of you has been give a separate room to test in. Each room is connected somehow, but the lab boys failed to tell me how, so that part you'll have to find on your own. As for how you will accomplish this though, look no further.

    Each of your rooms contain an Aperture Science Portable Quantum Tunneling Device. You those of you who missed the tutorial on how they work because you were being sissy-pants crybabies during your teleportation here, I will re-inform you:

    Step 1: Put it on your arm.
    Step 2: Push the one button to fire it.
    Step 2.5: Push the other button to fire it the other way.
    Step 3: Science!"

    *Papers rustling* "Let me see here: welcoming statements, location, tests, portal gun instructions ... Anything else?" *Muffled murmurers*

    "My assistant Greg has reminded me that I haven't yet stated the goal of sticking nine test subjects into highly expensive work areas.

    The goal of our tests and any subsequent tests to follow as we think of more things to do while you're all trapped here and as we continue to bring in additional testing equipment from the old parts of the lab is to simply run through the compatibility of the Realtime Testing Cubes. As I stated, each one of you is in a Realtime Testing Cube. Alone.

    The kicker to these tests is that our Realtime Testing Cubes simulate an environment based off of the personality test each of you signed up for last month. Totally legally of course.

    So, grab your standard issue Aperture Science Portable Quantum Tunneling Device and step into the environment soon to be rendered by the Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes.

    Oh, and any of you think you see water and decide 'I am going to drink the HECK out of this water,' don't. The boys tell me that all water rendered by the Realtime Testing Cubes is actually a product of us mashing together our relatively new gel products on the floors wedged in between your Realtime Testing Cubes. Those gels are lively and have a way with unprotected organic materials. Then again, if you're still asleep by the time I finish talking, we will have already taken care of your organic fleshiness, so don't worry. Or do."

    *More papers* "Now, the lab boys want me to remind you all that there will be a celebratory cake at the end of these tests. *Loud buzzer going off* Ha, I got you all! See, even Greg thought that was funny. We would have cake for you if someone hadn't bought a whole shipment of moon rocks from the moon. Though that was a horrible idea myself." *Buzzer going off*

    "Anyway, happy testing! Cave Johnson, we're done here." *PA system shutting off*

    Spoiler: Cave's Recap Notes for those who were too bothered to wake up 


    Spoiler: A Note from the Lab Boys 


    Spoiler: A Note from Greg 


    Spoiler: Character List 
    Last edited by Pikanator; April 20th, 2014 at 06:21 PM.
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  2. #2
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Nine lights flickered on in nine rooms. The various forms of nine separate people in these nine rooms lay asleep on the floor beneath each separate light. Far off from each room, the sounds of shifting panes could be heard.

    Each individual slowly began the process of awakening in their own, various speeds. The small room before them consisted of a crate and a door. Between the two was a two-tiered step system that was too large to jump up and scramble up onto. Directly behind each person was a Aperture Science brand Quantum Tunneling Device sitting peacefully on a pedestal, powered up and ready to go.

    On the right wall beside each person was a large monitor. As the rooms and the people within each room began to awaken, these monitors too flashed to life. Inscribed on each read the following:
    Room #1
    Grab Test
    With the Quantum Tunneling Device, pick up the box in front of you and proceed up and out of this room into Antechamber #2. Good Luck.

    Each room continued to power on and more lights flashed on. Each separate room appeared to made out of black tiles, so climbing the boxes appeared to be the only way forward.

    A cold, flat male's voice rang out through the PA system of each room. "Cross-check complete. All room are a go. Good luck testers."
    The PA shut off, leaving each person alone with his or her thoughts and/or dreams.

    ((Welcome to the Cubes! Each room will be set up for the various RPer as soon as they get to the corresponding areas. There are two 'Antechambers', the first as you see is grabbing test. Play along before the fun begins. Chao!))
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Sleep. It was man's nature to rest. And who better to do it than he. Of course, there were more important things. Like the internet, but that could wait. What was the topic. Oh yeah, sleep. It was a humble thing, so silent, or maybe the occasional snorer, but that would not distract him from such a majestic place. Sleep was the place of dreams, the zone of sleep, maybe even the pseudo-death. Silence, nothing. Ok, now the sunlight was starting to hurt the eyes. Alecks was sure he closed the blinds. No matter, sunlight wouldn't distract his sleep. The a gentle breeze passed by. Seriously, I turned off the dang fan.... His nose began itching which shouldn't really happen. There was a certain disturbance which he could feel close by.... GAH, WHAT THE FLIP?! He woke up to see himself inside the testing room. "Great, the work has officially started..." First thing was first, he grabbed the glove and placed it on his arm. It was somewhat heavy, but nothing that Alecks couldnt hold. He saw the so called steps, and realized he couldnt climb them. Im assuming thats what this glove is for.... However, a single crate stood alone. He could just as easily climb onto the crate and make his own, more accessible steps. I guess Ill know within good time...
    Last edited by SuperMii3D; May 1st, 2014 at 07:14 AM.
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    ((Please note that this is my first RP and I have no idea what I am doing.))

    The sound of peaceful, relaxing music slowly drifts over a sleeping form…
    "Mmphrg. Fi'e mo' minutes, ma!", mutters the mass. The music continues, insensitive to the request made of it. The sleeper rolls over and continues dozing. The bed's sensors, noting that its ocupant has used his allotted sleeping time, send a signal to the cube's computer systems: Activate Alarm.

    Screaming, the young man falls from his bed to the cold, sterile floor. Doctor Robotski quickly untangles himself from the sheets and stands, fully dressed and ready to take on any and all Science in body, if not in mind.

    "Urgh…where am I? Oh. That's right. The Cube.", he says, looking over his stark black environs. "Well, I suppose it's time to get started!"

    ((Please send me a VM if I'm terrible, or if you have any other thoughts! I'm fairly certain I used those quotes incorrectly.))
    Last edited by SockOutTheWindow; May 1st, 2014 at 02:23 PM. Reason: Fixed the color of the room
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Shen had woken up hours ago, and the brunt of the surprise was over. He lay looking at the ceiling, wondering what was going on.
    The screen came on. Looking with blurry eyes at it, he decided to go pick up the tunneling device and try it out.
    He got up but hesitated. Should I really do this? What if I do something wrong? He decides to wait until further notice.
    Am I doing this right? This is also my first RP.
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    As soon as Jason awakened, he realized where he was. Aperture Science, his OWN company's rival. After looking around a bit, he noted a large panel and gun on the wall. The wall said to pick up the box in front of him using the "Quantum Tunneling Device". Oh, thought Jason, that must be what the gun is. He stood up and... wait. Stood up? According to what he thought, he had been paralyzed from the waist down because of a headcrab accident. He looked down and saw that...

    Oh snap!

    He apperently now had a pair of robotic legs. He didn't want to have working legs! But it looked like he'd have to deal with it.
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    *yawn*
    Rayne awoke with a start...kind of. He sat up quickly to realize his surroundings and look at the time, if any clocks were available, read the notice, and look at the device behind him. He then lied back down and said "Half an hour more, maybe a quarter. Why is my leg wet? Wait...oh no, of all days!" He got up almost instantly. "If there's anyone or anything to respond, please tell me if there's a bathroom and new uniform nearby!" The screen changed to "...up and out of this room and into a Test Subject Comfort* Allowance room, followed by Antechamber #2... *Comfort is defined here as an external variable to testing. If it is not ideal, it may cause data to deviate from what was originally calculated." "Thank you. Better get there, then..." He picked up the "ash-pee-dee", he joked. He fired two portals onto black tiles before finding the tertiary trigger for picking stuff up. He then moved the block, tossed the gun up the ledge, climbed up, grabbed it, and proceeded to use the materials given to him to prepare himself for further testing.
    I suppose I might as well put one here, all the cool kids are doing it (not to judge, but so are some not-so-cool kids).

  8. #8
    Sock SockOutTheWindow's Avatar
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    ((Should probably complete the test, huh?))

    Doctor Robotski walked up to the Quantum Tunneling Device and picked it up, the Device sliding effortlessly over his arm. The pedestal, its job completed, quickly retracted back into the floor.

    Robotski walked up to the cube and squeezed the handle, the zero-point energy field manipulator allowing him to lift it as if it weighed nothing. He was impressed by this power, but didn't feel a need to speak his thoughts. His moment of reverie over, he moved the cube next to the stair and scrambled atop it, then pulled the cube onto the ledge and climbed again.

    Looking down from his perch, the Doctor smiled smugly at the test he had completed, then turned around and walked out the door.
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    The intercom slowly brought Skaiah back to reality. Opening her eyes, she saw a simple room, with a weird gun and a box. Seeing the sign, describing a "Quantum Tunneling Device" that must be used to pick up the box, she wondered if she could make a point to just picking it up normally. After all, it's just a box... Right? She tried to pick it up, and failed. Why does this box have to be so heavy?! I was trying to make a point! she thought venomously as she reluctantly turned to the gun, on, "Quantum Tunneling Device", and put it on her arm. She picked up the box as instructed and proceeded out of the room, once the test was complete, she put down the box and sat on it, thinking. If I ever want to get out of here, I suppose I'd better play by the rules for now... Skaiah had a feeling it would be a long day.
    Don't expect anything to make sense. That way you'll be pleasantly surprised if it does.


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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Celeste awakened with a start as if from a bad dream, a cold sweat still clinging to her back and forehead. Upon looking around the room, however, she came to find that this hadn't been at all where she expected to have woken up. The heck was this? It seemed as if she had been transported to a large containmen-

    That was it. Celeste jumped from her small bed. They brought me to those ugly cubes outside of town. I really don't think I deserved any of this.
    Overhead, the announcement from one Mr. Cave Johnson blared, jarring her slightly as she had just gotten out of her sleep. When the PA clicked off, she turned to the Tunneling device behind her.
    So this is where my money all went; into this device- and other devices if there are really other people here. Celeste slipped the gun onto her arm with slight difficulty before walking off toward the exit to the room. After a little problem-solving of her own, Celeste then proceeded to hoist the cube from the last ledge and carry it into the next room.

    She was anxious to get out as soon as possible; she needed to have a word with Mr. Johnson.
    Fate in life ever changing
    Ever gaining; ever loosing
    Ever rising; ever falling
    A swirling tide upon the seas of time

    Ever coming; ever going
    Ever smiling; ever frowning
    Such are the moments of life
    And ever onward the tide of time swirls
    Ad infinitum

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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    *Static crackle*

    "Good morning, Test Subjects! Or should I say, Happy Science!
    "To those of you looking longingly at those hunks of arm-shaped metal practically in front of your noses, I ask you to please pick them up and proceed on. Or, that's what I would do, but its sort of fun to watch you all gawk at those highly expensive, impressive pieces of work. I'd know; I made them. Just please, don't drool on them.

    "So, in short: pick up your feet, pick up the Quantum Tunneling Device, pick up that cube, pick yourself up and over the walls, and please don't pick any fights with yourselfs- selves ... Yes.

    "Cave Johnson. I'm done here."

    *Crackle*
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    *flush*
    "Okay, that's been dealt with...you guys still reconfiguring the room? I can't open the door. Hopefully there's something productive going on back there, I can't hear anything."
    I suppose I might as well put one here, all the cool kids are doing it (not to judge, but so are some not-so-cool kids).

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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Done with the test that Cave Johnson, whoever that was, was forcing everyone to do, Skaiah continued sitting on the box, deciding to hum a Steam Powered Giraffe song because she had absolutely nothing else to do. Now if I actually had a good book right now... she thought, idly alternating between humming Honeybee and humming Airheart.
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    After a tired yawn, Maxwell decided to begin the test.
    At first he was confused to how he was supposed to pick anything up with the clunky mechanism he just put on his arm, but after looking up he realized the cube was floating in front of him.
    Maxwell fiddled with the cube by placing it down and picking it up again. When he was confident that he had a hold on how the device worked he continued on with the test.

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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Rayne looked at the screen that had recently appeared. It took a somewhat familiar form, a loading screen, and the bar suddenly jumped from 7 distinct blocks full to 8. "Well, hurry it up, will ya? I haven't got all...actually, maybe I...actually no, I haven't got the rest of my life, I'm getting kind of hungry." An apple on a tray slid in from a new hole. Rayne took a bite. "Granny Smith. How'd you guys know? Actually, I don't think I wanna know." He sat down and ate as he waited for the bar to finish filling.
    (I hope this is helpful to the story and not screwing with it.)
    I suppose I might as well put one here, all the cool kids are doing it (not to judge, but so are some not-so-cool kids).

  16. #16
    :0 MisterM's Avatar
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Jason's company's owner knew Johnson well. According to the head of Black Mesa, Cave was a "pretentious, bigotous, self-centered jerk." But Jason couldn't complain. At least he had a pair of working legs after that headcrab incident. He decided to pick up the "Quantum Tunneling Device" and press the first button inside it while pointing it at the box and...

    ...the box was suddenly... levitating in front of him? Oh, he thought to himself, This must be like the Gravity Gun. It picks up things, I guess. He then moved to the door in front of him, but it wouldn't open. Gosh dang it, he thought.
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  17. #17
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Shen walks over and smashes gun
    Shen decides he is going to start the test. Walking toward the gun, he still has misgivings. He picks the gun up.
    Now what is this supposed to do?
    He tries to pick up the cube. Too heavy.
    He starts examining the gun. Turning it around, he involuntarily squeezes the handle, rocketing himself (still holding the gun) over the wall.
    That worked. I dunno about that cube though.
    Last edited by Anagalmeshshu; May 26th, 2014 at 08:55 AM.
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  18. #18
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    "Oh, no," said Delia, grabbing at her hair in an overdramatic fashion. In fact, she may have been hyperventilating. "This isn't what I was supposed to be doing! How did I end up here?! How long has it been, months!? No no no, I can't do this, I don't want to do this, this was not something I had planned..." She turned, and spotted it.

    The portal g- Quantum tunneling device.

    "That, he said... That could help me get out, good. Just do the test, Delia, don't worry. Don't freak out, okay. Okay. Just... new plan. Do what he says, don't worry, get out. That's a good plan, yeah. i'm fin ewith that." She started to calm down, her breathing returned to normal. As she slipped her hand into the device, she let out a sigh. This was not going to be a fun day, certainly not if she was already having breakdowns.

    "Pick up the box," she said, doing so with her gu- tunneling device. "Easy," she said. She quickly glanced at the two tiered plateau leading to her way out, and surmised that you had to place the crate at the base, climb upon it, then climb out. Simple enough. So, that's what she did.

    Climbing up the crate, she shouted to any camera that might be (aka totally was) listening in and watching. "I signed up for an internship! Not this!"

  19. #19
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    The white bar suddenly shot up to full. Stylized text appeared, saying "Now notifying current test administrator". "Took you long enough. Now let's get this show on the road!"
    I suppose I might as well put one here, all the cool kids are doing it (not to judge, but so are some not-so-cool kids).

  20. #20
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    "Administrator is absent" "What the heck? My patience is being tried here, and it's stretching rather thin. Someone take hold of this thing. Someone's going to find out about this!"
    I suppose I might as well put one here, all the cool kids are doing it (not to judge, but so are some not-so-cool kids).

  21. #21
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    "There's gotta be someone else getting annoyed at this. Can anyone hear me?" (Cave Johnson, I think he's called, must be a man of either too many responsibilities or no responsibility whatsoever. I hope it's the former.)
    I suppose I might as well put one here, all the cool kids are doing it (not to judge, but so are some not-so-cool kids).

  22. #22
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    *sniff* I think he's dead.
    I suppose I might as well put one here, all the cool kids are doing it (not to judge, but so are some not-so-cool kids).

  23. #23
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    As the last of the test subjects climbed the series of short walls, the doors to the next chamber unlocked.

    *Bzhuurgk- Crackle* "Sorry for the delay, Subjects! We still had an ongoing experiment in our old labs and just got so caught up in the action. In short- None of you will have to worry about human-sized mantis-men running around your cities and towns. Tornados filled with electric eels on the other hand-
    But that's not why we're here now in this chamber. Please proceed through the doors in front of you all into antechamber 2 for the remainder of calibrations." *Crackle*
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  24. #24
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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Robotski stood momentarily frozen, surprised by the unexpected (and unusual) announcement, then began speaking to himself.
    "The Eelnados again? I wonder what Mr. Johnson is talking about, Doctor Frias said the generator was fully functional a…gain…"
    Realizing what his mentor had meant by fully functional, Robotski shifted the position of the Tunneling Device on his arm and walked out through the doorway, muttering about what Stubbs would think of the completed generators, and other such things.

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    Re: Aperture Science Realtime Testing Cubes

    Skaiah groaned. She didn't want to move. Not when she had just gotten comfortable lying on the floor and was about to fall asleep. "You'll never take me alive." she muttered, going through a mood switch. Skaiah then proceeded to attempt to disconnect the test monitor from the wall so it couldn't monitor her. She really didn't want a 1984 scenario here. She didn't manage to disconnect everything, but she managed to get a few random machine parts that might be useful. Grudgingly and silently, she proceeded to the test chamber.
    Don't expect anything to make sense. That way you'll be pleasantly surprised if it does.


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